Pretend like I bought these blueberries on sale. They're from far away, and they're anything but organic. I pick out the squishier ones.
Then I cut giant steam vents and shove pieces of butter in them, because I forgot to add it before adding and attaching the top crust.
Then I shove it in the oven.
Then I slam the whole thing on the table and make no claims to having made it from scratch. Praise abounds anyhow.